Reality Rave: Review of What the Hell Con 2007

What Can I Say Except What the Hell?!

by Andrea M. Newton
February 13, 2007

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With a name like What-The-Hell?! Con, you've got to expect a certain amount of oddity at the Guilford College Yachting Club's convention. And it certainly delivered.

Before we go any further, let me explain that, as far as I can tell, the Yachting Club has nothing to do with boats. It does, however, have to do with games, comics, computers, and all things geek. So you can get an idea what the convention they host each year is like. No boats, except perhaps in the occasional board game.

The three day event had a lot of good, some bad, and even a couple of things that made me say, "What the hell?!"

The Good

Probably my favorite parts of the con were the guest panels. Listening to a bunch of web comics talking about how they get started, how they keep going, and generally just cracking clever jokes at each others' expense never fails to amuse.

The print-on-demand publishing presentation immediately caught my eye when I saw the schedule. I figured it would just be some guy who had used POD telling about how he did it. Little did I know the presentation would be given by Lulu.com, a leader in online POD publishing. Huge bonus! The guys from Lulu.com knew their stuff, and, armed with answers they gave to questions I asked, I plan to publish through them very soon.

Greg Stolze, creator of Unknown Armies, also gave talks about game development and publishing that were as entertaining as they were informative. One of the great things about WTHCon is that because it's so small -- just a few hundred people -- you actually get to talk with the guest speakers. If you have any interest in getting published as a writer or artist, that's an opportunity never to be missed. At a lot of large cons, like Origins, you're just one small face in the crowd, and you're lucky if there's enough time for you to ask your question. No such problem at WTHCon.

Unfortunately, I missed the presentation on Geek Social Skills. At home working on the computer, of course, and lost track of time.

But the most spectacular event at WTHCon was the fire dancing. Pirates twirling flaming staffs and cracking fireballs off of bullwhips -- how could that NOT be cool?! At one point they dragged a hostage from the crowd. After getting her to kneel on the ground, they put a bag over her head -- because previous hostages had gotten nervous and moved too much -- and twirled flaming batons around her head. I'm sure they didn't get that close, but, from my vantage point, I kept expecting to smell scorched burlap. As if that wasn't torture enough, they proceeded to make her walk the plank, without the bag over her head, of course. But with the plank on fire.

Of course, the con also had the obligatory game rooms -- board, video, and miniature -- and dealer rooms where you could chat with artists and writers and keep them in Ramen Noodles and Mountain Dew by buying stuff from them. I picked up lots of business cards, and my husband bought stuff. He has a paying job, so he can spend money.

One web comic I discovered through the con is called The Devil's Panties by Jennie Breeden. Clever, funny, and not at all afraid to say whatever needs to be said, The Devil's Panties is a must-read for any geek girl.

The Bad

Okay, WTHCon is free. And it is organized by a bunch of college kids who also have to deal with homework, classes, and the whole "college experience". They also have to navigate the bureaucratic labyrinth that is Student Services to reserve rooms for the convention. So I'm going to cut them a little slack for events being rescheduled. And rescheduled. And rescheduled again.

But not much.

Fire Dancing got rescheduled to immediately after the Geek Auction. Which was fine, if you attended the Geek Auction to find out about the schedule change. The group I went with originally hadn't planned to go to the Geek Auction, though, each of us already having our own geek significant other. Luckily, we decided to check it out anyway, for sheer entertainment value, or we might have thought the fire dancing was cancelled. And I would have been very annoyed to miss that.

The Daikaiju Battle scheduling fiasco was the bad one, though. After making a mad dash across Greensboro to get to Guilford College in time (again, on the computer and lost track of time -- happens a lot), we walked into the room, headed toward some good seats, and were then informed by convention staff members that the battle had been postponed until 2pm. Okay, no big deal. We hadn't had lunch yet, so we headed off to grab some food, then hit one of the game rooms to play some games until battle time. A little while later, a staff member came in and announced that the Daikaiju Battle would be at 1:30 pm, not 2. Shortly after that, another staffer came by and said that it was going to be at 2 pm after all. Followed by yet another staffer telling us that, no, it was at 1:30 pm, and, finally, Space Ghost, who assured us that the battle wasn't starting until 2 pm, and he should know since he was in it.

Next year, guys, pick a time. Stick to it. If you need to reschedule due to circumstances out of your control, pick a new time. Stick with it. Post notices all over the place. And don't change the time again.

Other than that, the "bad" things were relatively minor. The website had links to last year's site, which had links to the previous year's site, which got confusing pretty quickly about which events and guests were going to be at the con this year and which were from previous years. Last year doesn't matter anymore, guys. Neither does the year before. Drop 'em from the site.

The dealer rooms were really small, but it's a small con, so that's to be expected. Microphones would have been nice at the panel discussions; without them, it was really hard to hear what people were saying a lot of the time -- with the exception of Greg Stolze and the guys from Lulu.com, who projected very well. Kudos, guys! The Geek Auction definitely needed to be in a larger room with more seating.

That actually led to one of the ugliest experiences at the con. During the Geek Auction, after all the chairs were taken, a couple of shall we say "well-fed" individuals decided that it would be a good idea to sit on the table in the row in front of my friends and I. Not only did they completely block our view of the geeks on the auction block, but, well, if you're going to wear jeans that ride that low, you really shouldn't wear a shirt that short. Because I don't need to know that the tag on your panties is red. Capisce?

Thank God they moved after a while and sat on the floor instead. I'm not sure which I would have hated more -- missing the spectacle that is the WTHCon Geek Auction or having some chick's butt crack directly in front of my face for a couple of hours.

What the Hell?!

Guys dressed up in costumes -- or not -- smashing each other in the head with cardboard boxes. The Daikaiju Battle wasn't exactly what I was expecting. Somehow, I pictured a live action re-creation of every Godzilla movie ever made. I wasn't even close. It was more like dorm room pro wrestling. I was pretty impressed with the guys' stunts, though. The battle had its share of bad B-movie grade fighting -- you know, where the guy's fist passes a full two feet in front of his opponent's face, but the guy he's "hitting" flies backward into a wall anyway. But when two of the fighters picked up Space Ghost and smashed him down on a stack of cardboard boxes, that was pretty impressive. And, of course, the audience had a ball tossing paper airplanes at the combatants.

The Daikaiju Battle organizers didn't keep all the fun to themselves. After the official battle concluded, they invited the spectators to join them on the battlefield to smash cardboard boxes. I opted just to watch. I'm small, and I bruise easily.

I don't know if I'd say the Daikaiju Battle was fun, or even entertaining. If you like pro wrestling, you'll love it. I don't, but I did walk from the room shaking my head, chuckling softly, and murmuring, "What the hell?!"

But nothing beat the Geek Auction for sheer "like a car wreck you can't look away from" spectacle value. Geeks dressing up in weird costumes and auctioning themselves off to the highest bidder for a single turn on the floor at the dance later that evening. Geeks are an odd bunch to begin with -- I speak from personal experience, having been a geek longer than most of the WTHCon organizers have been alive -- so you can imagine what they consider "weird".

The event started out tame enough. Bidding on a dance with a hat. Literally. A leather fedora that I'm assuming the Yachting Club member who modeled it is never seen without. It was a nice hat, and went for a decent price. Things went as you'd expect for the next few rounds. And then it got weird. Yes, weird by geek definition. Two guys kissing each other to raise the price. A guy who spouted horrible pick-up lines every time the bid increased another four dollars. A guy dressed up as some sort of animal, crawling in on his knees. Two guys dressed up as angels, the one with black wings paddling the one with white wings -- after stripping off their shirts. A guy dressed up as Mal from Firefly, handcuffed yet still managing to pull off his jacket, suspenders, and shirt, while the women -- and some guys -- in the crowd screamed, "Take off the shirt! Take off the shirt!" Toward the end of the evening, people were thrusting money at each other to help their favorite bidder win. With the last auction, the room split into two sides, the bidding going higher and higher and higher until finally a woman on one side stood on a chair, turned to the bidder on the other side, and yelled, "We've got $225 over here, bitch!"

Okay, she might have said, "Beat it!", but it was hard to hear over the crowd, and I'm going for the version that doesn't have a Michael Jackson reference.

If nothing else, the evening proved that women can get just as rabid as men in situations like this. And the money went to a good cause, a charity for kids.

And I definitely left the room grinning, shaking my head, and wondering what the hell I'd just witnessed!

And the Final Score

All in all, WTHCon was a lot of fun. Smaller than an event like Origins, you didn't get lost or overwhelmed in a sea of people. You could chat with the guests, ask questions, and get info that's invaluable for anyone trying to break into game development, web comics, or writing. The variety of events meant any geek could find something interesting to do, and the game rooms had a seemingly endless pile of games to play.

And it's free. How can you beat that?

So would I go to What The Hell Con again? Hell, yes! I'm already looking forward to next year.